It was book week. Sophie enters the room in super star style, sprouting her bedazzling sparkly dress, her sequined handbag, tiara and… plastic pink heels.
“Hi everyone! Sophie is not here today, I’m Taylor Swift” she exclaims, revelling in the attention of her admiring fans.
I smile to myself – classic Sophie style! Then I remember – we’re going to the park today! Eeek those heels!
‘Hey Taylor Swift’, I approach her. ‘You have some interesting shoes there. I’m curious, do you have any other shoes in your bag, as we’re heading to the park today…walking in heels can give you blisters’ I explain as I glanced at her Mum.
Yes. I confess, I am guilty. That glance held the look of ‘SERIOUSLY, HEELS?’
As a nature pedagogue who strongly encourages bare feet, I am sure you can imagine my internal monologue.
Picking up on my non-verbal communication, Sophie’s mum explained. “I know it’s book week and Taylor Swift is not a book character AND the shoes are a bit ridiculous, but I figured she’s got years ahead of her where she has to wear a uniform, so with only a few months of kinder freedom left, she can make the most of it and come to kinder in PJs if she wants”.
To be honest, I had to agree.
Freedom and liberation won me over. Mum won points for defending her child’s right to an awesome fun-filled childhood. And secretly I knew Sophie, AKA ‘Taylor Swift’ would likely kick her shoes off and rush around in socks within 20 minutes of settling in…therefore the safety issue I had with the shoes would be negligible.
But I made a mental note: Lets discuss those shoes before we leave for the park!
Park time came.
“Hey Taylor Swift, did you want to change your shoes to something more comfortable?” I asked.
“No – I like these ones” she mentioned.
[OK that didn’t go to plan]
“Can I just give you some information?” I prompted, keen to guide her internal decision making and critical thinking rather than simply giving her a directive. (I also knew Sophie is a child who constantly seeks freedom and choice – simply telling her to change her shoes was only going to damage our connection – I needed this decision to be hers). “Walking all the way to the park on the uneven ground in heels can hurt your feet, you can get grit in your shoes, they may get dirty, and they can hurt your ankles” I offered.
“No – I can walk easily, see?” she demonstrated. Mastery Cup full in her competence as a heel walker.
Sensing that Taylor Swift was firmly attached to her shoes, I knew there was a valuable lesson in stall for her. A quick dynamic risk assessment went through my head.
- The park is only a short walk away (200M)
- We’re on a path most the way
- This is the country – not a busy city street, therefore less risk of broken glass etc
- We can take a spare pair of shoes in my backpack
- Let’s come to an agreement now that she’ll need to take her shoes off to climb on anything. (This is where I drew the line!)
- We have clear walkie-talkie communication with the service at all times
- We are well above ratio so can meet a one-to-one connection if needed
A quick share of my thoughts with my fellow educators, followed by a discussion with Taylor Swift and we were off.
Experiential learning ensued.
“Ouch, my feet hurt” Taylor Swift commented as we walked towards the park
“Yep, walking in heels can be a bit difficult” I mentioned.
“AAAH! The sticks keep getting in my shoes” Taylor discovered.
“Yep, that’s another challenge with heels” I noted.
“You’re walking TOO FAST” Taylor wailed.
“OK we can slow down a bit” I offered and I explained the situation to the other children.
“Well, Sophie, if you wore runners, you’d be able to walk faster” 5-yr old Sarah pointed out.
Three minutes later, mission accomplished we reached the park.
Taylor Swift decided she would sit for a while and rest her sore feet while the others ran for the playground. Deep in thought, I could see her reflecting on her situation.
“I want to climb and go on the monkey bars, but I think I’ll take my shoes off first” Taylor Swift decided.
“I think that’s a wise decision” I confirmed, smiling to myself.
During the short walk back to kinder, Sophie reappeared.
“I think next time I go to the park, I could change my shoes” She mentioned. “Taylor Swift has runners too, you know.”
Boom. In that moment, I knew the valuable lesson Sophie learnt. A lesson a thousand times more effective than if I had told her what to do. My strong relationships with Sophie was in tact, her need for freedom and autonomy was met and her learning had been internally derived from her own experiences (not teacher applied consequences).
Through the application of the Phoenix Cups framework® I could see Sophie’s strong sense of wellbeing through a full Freedom, Mastery and Fun Cup. By intentionally neutralising my directives with Sophie and listening to and working with her ideas, she maintained her full Connection Cup and together we worked on some Safety Cup filling ideas.
Most importantly she’ll always remember the day Taylor Swift came to Kinder.
And so will I.
PS, thankfully I never saw those shoes again! (Phew!).