My dearest fellow Educators,
You are reading this because you’re needing to support families in your service who have experienced the unimaginable; the death of a baby. Perhaps through miscarriage, stillbirth, or during the neonatal (newborn) period. It may have just happened, or their baby may have died years ago. Either way, here you are, looking for help. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I wrote this blog after searching for material to help Educators support families through baby loss, particularly stillbirth. This is not only my personal lived experience (my first daughter was delivered stillborn), but also my professional experience as a teacher walking alongside families in their grief. When I went searching, I couldn’t find anything written specifically for early childhood educators. What I did find were helpful resources from reputable organisations, which I’ve gathered here for you.
This blog is just a beginning. My hope is that it sparks a conversation across our sector, and that together, with trusted partners like Stillbirth Foundation Australia and Red Nose Australia, we can create professional learning materials for Educators who so often hold the wellbeing of families in their hands and hearts.
In the meantime, I’ve shared my own story with you, in the hope that it helps you connect with families from a place of curiosity, empathy, and deep listening.
Stillbirth: breaking the silence
The mention of my oldest daughter can still silence a room. Sixteen years on, stillbirth remains a taboo subject. Many people assume it’s something from the past, or so rare it only happens in extreme circumstances.
But here are the facts (Stillbirth Foundation Australia):
- Stillbirth is the death of a baby from 20 weeks gestation or 400gm body weight if gestation is unknown.
- Stillbirth is common. As an Educator, at some point you will support families who’s baby has died via stillbirth
- Between 2015–2016, 4,263 babies were delivered stillborn in Australia. That’s:
- 2,131 babies every year
- 6 babies each day
- 1 baby every 4 hours
- One in 135 pregnancies ends in stillbirth. This figure has barely shifted in three decades.
- Indigenous women are 50% more likely to experience stillbirth than non-Indigenous women.
For perspective: in 2021, 107 infants died of SIDS (Australian Child Death Statistics).
The long-lasting impact
In my teaching experience, I rarely learn about an older sibling’s death from a ‘getting to know you form’. Rather, it’s through building genuine relationships with families that these truths emerge. Some share openly; others hold the pain quietly. Both ways are right. Sometimes, it’s the children who tell you first, perhaps through a drawing: “This is my sister Piper. She’s my angel baby.” That one drawing can open the door to connection.
Other times, it’s family behaviours that spark deeper conversations, things that only make sense once you know their history:
- Heightened anxiety about the safety of their living children
- Reluctance to allow children on excursions
- Stress peaking at certain times of year
- Shifts in children’s behaviour as they absorb their parents’ emotions and relived trauma
- Deep anxiety during a pregnancy or after the arrival of a new baby
I’m a firm believer that as early learning services, when we enrol a child, we enrol their family too. To help you further support children and their families through grief and stillbirth/infant death, I’ve pulled together some helpful resources and provided links to reputable organisations for further research.
Some great advice from the Stillbirth Foundation Australia
What to say / what not to say
It is extremely hard to know the right thing to say to someone who has experienced unexpected loss and is grieving. Hearing the words: “I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby [or baby name, if a name has been given] and I am thinking of you both during this time,” is a beautiful gesture. And if you don’t know what to say, simply say “I don’t know what to say other than I am so sorry”. People often feel pressure about what to say or what not say but your honesty and compassion will be enough.
Actions rather than words can be powerful. A warm hug, shoulder to cry on or sitting with a listening ear…prepared to just listen – you don’t have to have any answers.
From my perspective, as both parent and teacher: I’m not a psychologist or grief counsellor—that’s why I’ve gathered resources from those who are - but I am both a bereaved parent and an Educator. And here’s what I’ve found:
- Meet every family with connection, empathy, and trust—not judgement.
- Grief looks different for everyone. It’s OK to say, “I can’t imagine how difficult this is for you.”
- Take your cues from the family. Not everyone can (or wants to) talk about their baby.
- If possible, ask the baby’s name. It matters.
- When children mention their sibling, gently let families know. You might be the only one brave enough to acknowledge it.
- Don’t rush to fix the pain. Sometimes the best thing you can do is sit with it.
- Remember the fathers and non-birthing parents. They grieve deeply too, often while carrying the weight of supporting their partner.
From my heart to yours, thank you for being here, for reading this, and for being willing to walk gently with families through the hardest of journeys.
Stillbirth Foundation Australia: help and support for parents
Series of resources to support families. Some of these will be provided to families in the direct aftermath of stillbirth and infant loss at the hospital. However there are some other amazing resources on this site that are very helpful in the long run.
https://stillbirthfoundation.org.au/support-topics/help-and-support-for-parents/
Support and resources
Here are some trusted starting points:
Stillbirth Foundation Australia
Red Nose Australia – Guiding Light
- Grief and loss support
- Grief and loss factsheets including; making memories, words matter, early pregnancy loss, medical termination, stillbirth and newborn death Fact Sheets | Guiding Light - Red Nose Grief and Loss
Children’s resources
- Death & Loss – Maggie Dent (Death & Loss - Maggie Dent)
- Children’s books on death, dying and illness – Maggie Dent (Children’s books & resources to help with death, dying and illness - Maggie Dent)
- Everywhere, Still by M.H. Clark (Everywhere, Still by M.H. Clark | A Book about Loss, Grief, and the Way Love Continues | 9781957891033 | Booktopia)
Additional support services
Author: Linda Price