Leading With Connection

In School Age Care, we often speak about the importance of building secure, respectful and reciprocal relationships with children and young people. These relationships are the foundation of My Time, Our Place V2.0 and guide how we nurture belonging, agency, and wellbeing. We know connection matters, and many of us work intentionally to create environments where children and young people feel safe, seen, and supported.

But what about our teams?

Recently, I’ve had a number of conversations with SAC leaders who’ve shared that they’re feeling a bit disconnected from their teams. Whether it’s due to staff changes, stretched rosters, or just the constant rhythm of transitions and time constraints, many are asking:

• How do I rebuild trust?
• How do I reconnect with a team that’s feeling flat or fragmented?
• Where do I even start when I’m stretched thin myself?

First, a reminder that matters for leaders: if your team feels “flat”, it doesn’t mean your team is lacking care or professionalism. More often, it means people are carrying a lot, and connection has slipped down the list because everyone is busy surviving the week.

And that’s where leadership connection becomes a protective factor.

The truth is, connection doesn’t always come from a grand gesture.

Often, it starts with the smallest, most intentional moments:

A warm welcome, a quiet “thank you” at the end of a shift, a shared joke during cleanup, or a conversation that begins with “How are you going, really?”

These small acts matter. They create micro-moments of care, build psychological safety, and shape the relational culture of your team. As leaders, we don’t just support practice, we set the tone. And when connection is part of our leadership approach, we create the conditions for wellbeing, trust and collaboration to grow.

When connection is low, it can show up in predictable ways

Sometimes disconnection looks like silence, not conflict. Sometimes it looks like conflict, not silence.

You might notice educators:

• keeping their head down and sticking to the basics
• withdrawing from team conversations, or avoiding eye contact at handover
• sounding short, blunt, or “all business”
• misreading each other’s tone, especially in rushed transitions
• losing confidence, and second-guessing their choices

This is where a strength-based lens helps. Behaviour, for any of us, is the best attempt a person can make in the moment to get their needs met, given the skills, experiences, and capacities they have at the time. When we hold that in mind, we stop treating disconnection as a character flaw, and start treating it as a signal to lead with care, clarity, and support.

Drawing on the Phoenix Cups Framework®

We know that when someone’s Connection Cup is running low, it can affect everything, communication, patience, energy levels, and their ability to show up with presence and intention. And this includes educators. Just as children and young people need connection to thrive, so do our teams.

So if your team is feeling strained, a useful question isn’t “How do I get them motivated again?”

It’s: What might help our Connection Cups refill, in ways that are realistic for the week we’re in?

Revisiting the Connection Plan, through the lens of leadership

That’s why we’ve been encouraging leaders to revisit the Connection Plan (Bingo Card), a tool many of us already use to build connection with children, but this time through the lens of leadership.

We’ve created a new tool, a Connection Cup Plan for leadership, to offer practical ways for leaders to connect more intentionally with their teams. From personalised check-ins to non-verbal gestures and reflective conversations, it’s designed to support relational leadership that is intentional, human, and grounded in everyday practice.

Here are a few examples of what “connection in leadership” can look like in real SAC days:

• A 30-second arrival ritual: greet each educator by name, make eye contact, one warm line that’s true.
• A two-minute end-of-shift close: “Thank you for today. One thing I noticed you did that helped the afternoon run well was…”
• A tiny repair when things are tense: “I think we missed each other earlier. Can we reset?”
• A practical check-in: “What would make this shift feel more manageable?”
• A capacity check: “What’s one thing you can carry today, and one thing you need me to carry?”

None of this needs to be perfect. It needs to be consistent.

This adapted version can be especially helpful for:

• New or emerging leaders still developing confidence and clarity in their role
• Leaders stepping into existing teams where trust needs to be built or repaired
• Services navigating change or feeling the effects of burnout or turnover
• Anyone wanting to strengthen a culture of mutual respect, care, and collaboration

Reflection questions to keep it grounded (and doable)

Like any tool, its value comes through reflection and consistent use. That’s why we’ve included reflective questions for leaders to use weekly or monthly, simple prompts to help tune in not just to how you’re leading, but how you’re connecting.

You might start with:

• Who in my team has felt easiest to connect with lately, and who might be feeling a bit outside the circle?
• What do I do consistently that fills Connection Cups, and what might be draining them without me realising?
• Where can I offer a little more voice, choice, or clarity this week, even in small ways?

Because at the heart of School Age Care is this truth:

Relationships don’t just support quality practice, they are quality practice.

So, if you’ve been feeling the gap, start small. One connection a day. One moment of presence. One act of care.

And remember … connection isn’t about perfection, it’s about showing up, with intention.

Let’s keep leading with intentional purpose.